Coming to grips with Eagles disaster, and some hockey talk
This is primarily an Eagles blog, so I feel compelled to start out there, even though right now I find this business with Cutter Gauthier forcing the Flyers to trade him to Anaheim more compelling.
It’s hard to know what else to say about the Eagles. I’m frustrated that some people don’t seem to understand how unprecedented and, much worse, how hopeless this mess has become.
It isn’t a “slump” or a “bad stretch.” The Eagles have suffered an organizational nervous breakdown. They are no longer functional. In Monty Python parlance, they are an “ex-parrot.” They are not just pining for the fjords.
The Eagles have reached a sort of Twilight Zone where talent ceases to matter; all that matters is, players perform like they have lost faith in themselves and each other, and probably in their coaches.
As Monday’s wild card round game at Tampa gets closer, you are going to hear more and more attempts to talk you into believing the Eagles aren’t dead, that they can board the pirate ship and sink it. The Bucs aren’t that good. The Eagles beat them there Week 3. Darius Slay is coming back.
At this point, Week 3 might as well be part of the 2017 season. The Eagles’ defensive line hasn’t played well in a couple months. Even more devastating, the panicky switch from Sean Desai to Matt Patricia has pretty much rendered the entire defensive unit noncompetitive. Watch the film cutups by the analysts who do that stuff. Under Desai, it was a big problem that young players often seemed confused and hesitant. Patricia’s changes have ensured that everyone seems confused and hesitant.
It’s tempting to say I’ve never seen anything like this, but I think I have. It was 2012, Andy Reid’s last season, when the Eagles started out 3-1 and finished 4-12, losing 11 of their final 12 games. A downward spiral like that starts, and for several weeks, you’re still thinking, “OK, they can beat this team,” and you analyze this positional matchup and that fact from the teams’ previous meeting, and then the team you are covering keeps losing and you hit a point where you realize none of that stuff you’re used to looking at will matter one bit. What matters is that the team has lost its will, and is playing out the string.
Reid’s final game was at the Giants, by the way. A 42-7 loss that would have been less embarrassing as a forfeit. It looked a lot like Sunday’s game except that back in 2012, the Giants were more formidable, as defending Super Bowl champs.
This is one of those weeks when I’m glad I’m retired, that no outlet is making me stand around the NovaCare locker room or auditorium, listening to half-hearted spiels about how it’s a new season and everyone is 0-0. Please, spare me.
More depressing is that reporters who are covering this mess tend to think Nick Sirianni will get another season to continue his ambitious project of turning Jalen Hurts into Carson Wentz.
As Marcus Hayes noted in the Inquirer, Sirianni achieved a sort of perverse perfection in Sunday’s meaningless loss to the Giants. He didn’t sit all the key players, just a guy here and there, sending the message that “Hey, Dallas is probably going to win today at Washington, so we might not want to go all-out, but maybe we can sort of tiptoe around and if the Commanders do something nuts, be in position to make it matter.”
Football does not work this way. You can’t half-ass it. Trying to do so got Sirianni a franchise QB with a grotesque-looking finger dislocation and A.J. Brown with a knee injury that is really just fine, because hey he’s gonna get it wrapped up and go out there against the Bucs, no problem. (Praise the lord and pass the Toradol.)
Sure, there is always a chance the Eagles win at Tampa. Baker Mayfield might implode. Bucs coach Todd Bowles — whose weary mien I recall so well from the final weeks of that 2012 season, after Juan Castillo was fired and Bowles took over the Eagles’ defense — might forget to blitz, or to put 11 defenders on the field. Otherwise, no, this is all going to be over except the blame-spreading.
My prediction there is that there will be at least a tinge of whisper whisper you know a lot of this is Hurts’ fault, by people desperate to save their own skins. Reflect on what we all thought of Hurts’ abilities and especially his leadership skills, a mere 11 months back. Marvel as the prevailing wind does a 180.
Ok, before I close this out, Cutter Gauthier, fifth pick in the 2022 NHL draft, one of the top prospects in hockey. Really bizarre decision. It might turn out well for him, Anaheim’s rebuild seems on firmer footing than the Flyers’. I’m long, long removed from the NHL scene, but i know this: Philly is in the top five of NHL markets, when you combine size with fan and media interest.
It also boasts the best travel setup in the NHL, which is why scouts from across the league often are based here. You can drive to the Devils, Rangers, Islanders, and Caps. You can drive to the Penguins and even the Bruins or Hurricanes if you want. In an 82-game season, this is a big deal. Travel for the Western teams is very different, something I’ve heard many players mention,
I’m not sure Los Angeles-area media outlets fully cover the Ducks these days, home and away. It’s like Mike Trout playing for the Angels.
Whatever guidance this kid got that led him to this decision, I question it. Ed Snider is gone, but still, this isn’t Winnipeg. The Flyers will be good again, even if this forced trade impedes that process. They are a big-money team that currently seems to be in good hands, with Dan Hilferty, Keith Jones, and Danny Briere. I didn’t mention John Tortorella because I’m frankly not a big Torts guy, I think he has a limited shelf life wherever he goes.
In fact, if Tortorella was a big part of Gauthier’s decision — something I’ve seen mentioned in speculation — that’s kinda silly. Does Gauthier have any idea how often the Flyers change coaches? If my math is correct, Torts has been behind the bench for 122 Flyers games. Alain Vigneault got all the way to 147 before he was canned.
I’ve also heard Gauthier was influenced by Tortorella whipping boy Kevin Hayes, something Hayes denied in an interview with The Athletic. Hayes could just be trying to avoid getting speared in the groin the next time his St. Louis Blues come to town, but the Flyers have said Gauthier’s trade request came a few months after he was drafted. Tortorella would not have actually coached a Flyers game yet at that point, or run afoul of Hayes.
The dumbest thing I’ve heard is that the request had something to do with Gauthier growing up as a Penguins fan. If true, that’s absurd. At any given time, a quarter to a third of the Eagles’ roster is made up of guys (often from Texas) who grew up rooting for Dallas. Once you are a professional, you forget that stuff. I have never heard of a player in any sport not wanting to play for a team that was a rival of the team he followed as a kid.
Whatever his motivation, I have to think Gauthier is under the impression that he’ll come here for the first time with the Ducks and maybe some people will boo, and that will be it. Hoo-boy, no. People are going to want to set the team bus on fire. (Note: I am not advocating this. Please do not set the Ducks’ bus on fire.)
People will indeed boo, and threaten, the first time Gauthier comes here. Also the 83rd time. We have long memories.